Sie ist vorbei. Die erste Woche ohne whatsapp. Wie es mir seither ergangen ist, wurde ich gestern gefragt. Gute Frage und Zeit für ein erstes Fazit.
Whatsapp ist nur eine App
Whatsapp ist nur eine technische Erfindung, ein Instant-Messaging-Dienst fürs Handy. „Nur“ schreibe ich schnell dahin und für manchen ist das eine recht leichtfertige Formulierung. Zumindest ist das eine Idee, die sich immer mehr verfestigt bei mir. Für manchen ist es die neue Form von Beziehung.
Am häufigsten wurde mir zu meiner Entscheidung, meinen whatsapp-Account zu löschen, mit Staunen in den Augen gesagt, dass das mutig sei. Wieder einmal überraschte mich diese Einschätzung. Schließlich hatte ich mich nicht entschieden, Bungee Jumping zu machen oder all mein Hab und Gut aufzugeben und mit dem Rucksack durch die Welt zu tingeln. Ich entschied mich, whatsapp „Und tschüss“ zu sagen, weil es an der Zeit war, etwas für meinen Seelenfrieden und meine psychische Gesundheit zu tun.
Ich weiß nicht, wie es Euch geht, mir ist jedoch aufgefallen, dass ich diese App nicht mehr im Griff hatte, sondern sie mich. Es ist noch immer bitter, das vor mir selber zuzugeben, aber es ist ehrlich. Innerlich getrieben von der Erwartung neuer Nachrichten, in der Illusion, mit Menschen in Verbindung und Kommunikation zu sein, spielte es eine viel zu große Rolle in meinem Leben.
Alles hat wie immer viele Seiten
Grundsätzlich gilt auch heute für mich, dass whatsapp, ähnlich wie Facebook, seine guten Seiten hat. Es kann Spaß bringen, Dinge vereinfachen und Verbindungen zu Menschen fördern. Kann, muss nicht. Es gilt, einen gesunden Umgang mit den neuen Medien und technischen Fortschritten zu finden. Das fällt heutzutage nicht nur unseren Kids schwer. Stelle ich es mir noch machbar vor, klare Regelungen für Spiel- und Online-Zeiten fürs Zocken zu vereinbaren, sieht es mit whatsapp, Facebook und Co. auf dem Handy schon anders aus.
Zwar hatte auch ich nicht ständig Auge und Ohr am Handy, war aber zumindest schon nahe dran. Wenn das Telefon klingelt, gehe ich ja auch hin, also warum nicht, wenn das Piepsen einer Nachricht ertönt? Weil ein Telefonat meist nur kurz dauert, man Informationen austauscht, direkt Antworten erhält und zumindest die Stimme, die Stimmung des anderen aufnimmt.
Ein Telefonat von 5 Minuten kann in whatsapp-Zeit schon mal eine Stunde dauern. Im besten Falle ist das Ergebnis das Gleiche, doch hat man den anderen nicht einmal gehört. Im schlimmsten Falle bleibt unklar, ob, wann und wo man sich nun trifft oder was der andere eigentlich wirklich gemeint hat. Wir interpretieren eh alles durch zig eigene Filter, die um ein Vielfaches verrückter arbeiten können, wenn uns Stimme, Mimik und Gestik des Gegenübers fehlen.
Kritische Ahnungen wurden zu bitteren Erkenntnissen
Ich ahnte durch kritische Selbstreflexion, dass bei mir etwas schief lief. Nicht nur Innen, auch Außen. Die erste whatsapp-freie Woche ließ mich schon mal so manch bittere Pille schlucken. Was mich betrifft, stellte ich deutlich fest, dass ich sehr oft, statt anzurufen, Nachrichten schrieb. Das ist nicht zwingend schlecht, wenn man zu Zeiten Fragen hat, da das Gegenüber entweder auf Arbeit ist oder schläft. Das funktioniert, wenn man die innere Ruhe hat, auf eine Antwort zu warten und diese dann auch irgendwann kommt.
Ich versteckte mich selbst manches Mal hinter dem Schreiben, ging dem direkten Telefonkontakt aus dem Weg. Mir fehlte zunehmend meine geliebte innere Ruhe oder deutlicher formuliert: meine Nerven lagen blank, was die Kommunikation mit bestimmten Menschen betraf. Das lag nicht nur an der Tatsache, dass sich immer mehr Menschen heutzutage hinter Messaging-Diensten verstecken. Ich musste sehr ernüchternd erkennen, dass so manche Kommunikation (und das waren nicht wenige) Einbahnstrassen oder Sackgassen waren. Es kam wenig Informatives, Nährendes zurück. Viele dieser Kommunikationen haben sich nach einer Woche ohne whatsapp fast komplett erledigt. Mein Telefon hat kaum geklingelt oder SMS-Töne von sich gegeben, weil mit der Löschung von whatsapp für manche Menschen nicht nur diese Möglichkeit der Kommunikation, sondern die Person selber aus dem Orbit verschwindet.
Eine Woche ohne – Das Fazit
Das Verrückte ist, dass mich davon sehr wenig überrascht. Ich ahnte, dass ich diesen Menschen nicht wichtig genug bin. Oder dass sie zumindest so eingefahren in ihrer Kommunikation sind, dass es ihnen gar nicht in den Sinn kommt, dass meine Handynummer immer noch die gleiche ist, man SMS schreiben oder gar anrufen kann. Viele dieser Menschen wissen sogar, wo ich wohne, doch warum an einer Haustür klingeln, wenn derjenige kein whatsapp mehr hat? Ja, wir sind alle ein bisschen gaga.
Ich ahnte all das. Deshalb schluckte ich so manch bittere Erkenntnispille ziemlich gelassen. Krass finde ich es trotzdem noch, doch kann ich es recht gut so sein lassen, wie es ist. Es ist nun mal eine Zeitqualität, dass Online- und Real Life ineinander verschwimmen und es viel Klarheit braucht, um das Ganze bewusst zu nutzen. Mir hat dieses „mit dem Strom schwimmen“ nicht mehr gut getan, deshalb habe ich mich erstmal ans Ufer gesetzt, um durchzuschnaufen. Tatsächlich bin ich innerlich wieder ruhiger, auch wenn mir der ein oder andere Mensch verloren zu gehen scheint.
Doch was wäre das Leben, hätte es nicht auch das ein oder andere kleine Wunder parat? Es sind nicht nur Menschen aus vermeintlichen Verbindungen verschwunden. Ein paar zeigen mir, dass unsere Beziehung nicht ans Mittel der Kommunikation gebunden ist. Da werden oldschool SMS versendet, Anrufe getätigt und sogar persönliche Treffen angeregt.
Die erste Woche ohne whatsapp war ernüchternd. Die Stille und wirren Gedanken nicht immer leicht auszuhalten. Doch die spürbare Entspannung ist mir Gold wert. Vielleicht ist mein Leben ohne whatsapp ein Fasten auf Zeit, vielleicht bleibt es so. Schau´n mer mal.
Und trotzdem werd ich dich mal besuchen kommen, soviel ist sicher!!
Die Frage ist „wann denn?“ – ich weiß es nicht..?
Aber der Plan ist im Kopf ???
Die Einladung steht weiterhin. 🙂 Zum Glück braucht es für die Umsetzung kein whatsapp. Auto, Handy und Zeit genügen. Es findet sich schon der passende Moment. Ich freue mich jedenfalls schon auf ein Wiedersehen!
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